just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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