Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word

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  (513): Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word http://tfl.nu/dxvq
  Replies (57) Good night (4119) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

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  (440): i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project http://tfl.nu/w3av
  Replies (12) Good night (4247) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!

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  (303): The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks! http://tfl.nu/bdkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3073) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.

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  (801): He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark. http://tfl.nu/qvx8
  Replies (7) Good night (4084) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.

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  (425): Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us. http://tfl.nu/n2iw
  Replies (5) Good night (1903) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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  (802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa
  Replies (5) Good night (3821) Bad night (1173) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?

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  (734): Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold? http://tfl.nu/ybs2
  Replies (7) Good night (2987) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again

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  (843): We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again http://tfl.nu/w71h
  Replies (23) Good night (865) Bad night (3332) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

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  (330): The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life. http://tfl.nu/qfsl
  Replies (5) Good night (3910) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.

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  (901): Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn. http://tfl.nu/sdqi
  Replies (6) Good night (477) Bad night (1840) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday

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  (613): Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday http://tfl.nu/1nci
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it

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  (619): The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it http://tfl.nu/3uov
  Replies (8) Good night (1094) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.

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  (310): I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there. http://tfl.nu/77nt
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho

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  (+61): And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho http://tfl.nu/t3gn
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.

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  (651): Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong. http://tfl.nu/nhsj
  Replies (3) Good night (210) Bad night (101)

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