im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize