He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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