Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize