Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize