We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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