I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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