the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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