I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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