I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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