i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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