He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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