i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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