I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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