How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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