I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
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I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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