She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize