i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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