Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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