a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
tell me about the eggs
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