my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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