just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
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i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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