I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize