u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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