Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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