what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize