my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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