i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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