Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
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Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
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I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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