and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
as a side note pls kill me
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