Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize