What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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