i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize