Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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