I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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