I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize