so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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