it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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