Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize