it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize