But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you had me at cake vodka
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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