we're blogging at a bar
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize