i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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