we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
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I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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