hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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