He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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