lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We got so high we made milksteak
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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