So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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