I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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